Monday, April 25
i felt a knife slicing open the skin...
my heart was constricted...
i was not allowed to show it all , not allowing it...
it was as if one of those movies...
where in a distance , someone waves goodbye to you and then walks away...
and you smile...
it was one of those classic hallmark movies...
i wasn't able to say , show or even do what i really felt like doing...
i just smiled...
i fell in love again and again...
each time i see her , each time i think of her...
i dun want this to interfere with my schoolwork and stuff...
but its unbareable...
i hope u understand...
i just wish that i cud be open , even for a moment , about my love for u...
i want the whole world to noe...
but its just to hard to do as i wud never wanna hurt u in any way...
i've lost ur trust b4 and is so afraid of losing it again...
i came back to school afraid to face you...
afraid to tok to you...
yet u do as if there was nothing...
its smothering me this constant pain...
the butterflies in my stomach is making me puke...
choking me as they try to get out...
and so is my feelings...
i'm just terribly sad...
disappointed in myself in a way...
i just wanna tell u I TRULLY LOVE YOU...
well friends who've been helping me try to get over it...
i'm sorry , i just can't , i had just sacrified too much...
ini bukan cinta monyet yang korang slalu pikirkan...
it strangles my heart , defining any movement of the blood to any part of my body...
i'm numb...
just numb...
CONFESSIONS PART I
[Your Name Here] @ Monday, April 25, 2005